Stop Hiding Your Magic

I’m watching the sunset here on the Andaman Sea on the island of Langkawi—an island in the archipelago in the northwest of Malaysia. This sunset is feeding me. It’s the most brilliant orange, with the top crest a glowing gold-yellow, sinking down beneath the clouds.

It is two days after the solstice. I’m almost on the equator, so you don’t feel that shift as much here, though I am thinking of the darkness of my home place. This moment is absolutely beautiful—stunning, gorgeous. And there it goes: the sun sinking down, down, down, becoming someone else’s sunrise right now. The sun is sinking and the sun is rising at the same time. Now it’s just a little dot—a pinpoint of light at the horizon, out at sea—and now it is gone.

It’s almost Christmas, and part of me is dreaming of cozy fireplaces, stockings, family, and traditional Christmas, which I’ve come to realize I’m quite lucky to have experienced growing up in Minnesota. I didn’t know so much of the world desired that kind of experience from their warm, tropical glory.

And maybe that’s what travel does—it makes you grateful for what you didn’t even know to name. It also makes you honest. Over the last few months, I’ve been going down memory lane working on these blogs, and it’s actually been really healing. It’s helped me understand where I’ve arrived here in my mid-50s.

If you are in your 20s, 30s, or 40s—don’t you ever bemoan another birthday, anything bringing you closer to 50. You are so lucky.

Our 50s… I don’t know. We just grow into ourselves. If you’ve done your work, that is. Let’s talk about that: what is “doing our work,” what does it mean, and how does it get us where we actually want to be?

Perhaps when I say doing our work, I really mean doing our magic.

We were not made to live in a rut. We were not created to live a 9-to-5 life with one or two weeks off a year doing something we hate. That does not mean you should leave your job—you should have a job—but it does mean you should be doing something that moves you, that you love, and spending time being creative, being spiritual. These are normal human states. You are a creative being. You are a spiritual being. And it’s very important that we find time for expression of these things in our lives every week, if not every day.

To do magic—to live magically—means that you spend time in contemplation and in prayer and in creating an idea of who you are and what you want for yourself. It also means you take committed action toward that, even if you have to be courageous to do it. And you do have to be courageous to do it.

Maybe it is doing rituals. Maybe it is filling out a job application for something we feel is just beyond us. Maybe it is finally writing the book you have been meaning to write. None of us really gets a pass on feeling scared to do the things most meaningful to us. It’s just part of how it works.

And when you reach a time in your life—usually in your 30s, I would say (though you may have inklings from your teenage years on, maybe even childhood)—you get an inkling that keeping up and doing what you’re supposed to do is not satisfactory. It’s not satisfying your soul. I’m not the first one to say this, and you know it’s true.

We are empowered, and we have the responsibility, to find what moves us uniquely. And we can only do that when we spend time in spiritual reflection. And I do not mean religious practice. Religions can be a way to touch into these things, but they can also be quite controlling. No shade on anybody’s religion. But true spirituality is your connection to the divine. It is your connection to your higher, greater self that knows your plan for being here—and it happens in your own unique way. Maybe you talk to trees. Maybe you scry.

If you are connected to Turquoise Trail, if you’ve stayed in touch with these blogs, you are someone who is a spiritual learner. You see life through that lens: learning spiritual lessons, developing your soul, and that that’s a part of why you’re here—if not the entire reason you’re here. So bringing that to the forefront instead of the background—claiming it instead of hiding it—I think is the work of today for many of us. Myself included.

My spiritual time and practices were something I kept in hiding. I kept it veiled because I didn’t want to show it. It was too vulnerable. People would judge me. I would judge myself if I thought I was taking myself too seriously. And so it did take a long time to manifest the things I wanted. I was asking for big things: a relationship that really worked for me, to be healthy and whole, to do meaningful work, to have freedom in my life—freedom of movement, freedom of schedule, financial freedom. Doing that all secretively in the background made it take longer.

But we don’t have to live like that. We can bring it into the foreground with trusted others. (And yes—this is part of why I’m creating spaces like Turquoise Trail and Becoming Transilient. Not as a “fix,” but as a practice: a container for people who are ready to stop hiding the part of themselves that knows.)

Because what happens when we are open, listening, and in regular practice of any kind is that the information starts to flow. We start making the right choices for ourselves. We strengthen the relationship with ourselves and our path. We spend less time wandering and more time covering real ground in life.

And when things go upside down—which they inevitably do—you will still know which side is up for you. Or you will have a sound practice for finding it, outside of the noise and confusion around you. You will be able to pivot and land on your feet.

This is invaluable. And I believe it will matter more and more over the coming years.